Remembering...

My memory is really quite poor and it shows when it comes to you. You're like the obstacle in my day which just mocks my poor little mind. When it gets close to that time I watch the clock as though I was a shark stalking a poor little fishy. Yet somehow I seem to always miss the dead line and mess up...which annoys me intensly!

You are my Everest and god damn it...I. Will. Conquer. You.

It's the small things...

In life people often feel pressured to have the latest designer clothes, shoes, handbags, nice expensive cars and just general superficial luxuries that- lets face it- only very few people have. I go on the philosophy that it's the small things in life. Whether it's a freebee you get (like the Barry M lipgloss I got from purchasing a can of impulse...I love it! It tastes like starbursts ;D) or even something as simple as the love an adoration of your friends. I am not in anyway suggesting my friends are "small things" but they come freely and my gosh do I love them (lots more than my Barry M lipgloss :o). My friends are wonderfuly free spirits, they're like birds flying around to whatever patch of bright blue sky takes their fancy, always together chirping happily away.

I admire them.
I aspire to be like them.
I love them.

I could never hate you...

You make the stars shine too brightly for me to ever hate you.
You make the sea travel too freely for me to ever hate you.

You make the birds sing too loudly for me to ever hate you.

You make me too happy for me to ever hate you.

A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell...

This lyric is extracted from the song "Happy Ending" by Mika. I wouldn't say that I was a fan of Mika but this song stands out among the others. Each lyric buried within the song has so much truth and meaning behind it. I chose this lyric in particular because it just sumarises the entirity of life. With happiness comes sadness- whether it's your own or someone elses. With justice comes injustice. With purity comes inpurity.

"Can't get no love without sacrifice"
Yet another immense lyric hidden within the song! Although, it's quite depressing to think that you cannot be graced with the emotion of love before having to go through painful and sorrowful events beforehand.
It's as though love is our mercy.

Love doesn't die...

Love comes in different shapes and sizes; it varies from person to person. You can love people in many ways, but you can love one person- the one and only person- in a personal, intimate, special way. You cannot help who you fall for, just as long as you're happy it really doesn't matter. Happiness is the key and without it you just cannot survive.
Sometimes different kinds of love can become confused and intertwined with one another. You may believe you're with the one yet you are still questioning your true emotions and motives. With questions come answers. Be patient as these answers may take a while to unearth themselves from the pits of your mind. Even though these answers lead to a love becoming stationary you must remember that love doesnt die, others just develop.
"The heart wants what the heart wants, you should follow it."

Have a cuppa...

A silly british stereotype is that during any and every crisis us brits think it best to enjoy a warming cup of tea. I mean don't get me wrong, I enjoy a a nice strong cup of tea as much as the queen does; but can it really lighten and refresh a disasterous situation? In a strange way...I think it can. By offering someone a cup of tea you are offering them something to replenish their thirst and distract them from a distressing situation. You are recieving a gift which aims to savour and detract your emotions from the situation before you. Further more a cup of tea offers warmth and can be made to your own unique taste.

Anger...

Anger is not really an emotion that many people would associate me with. However, this is a slight misconception. That beast, in which we refer to as anger, shadows over me quite often.

I'm not suggesting that I'm fake...but there is certainly a facade which I have grown used to. People don't need to grow accustomed to my anger when they have their own emotions they need to be focusing on.

I only hope that people do actually start taking their own feelings into account and take care of themselves.

Climbing the mountain...

One foot in front of the other, pulling yourself up towards a limited supply of oxygen; but is it hard to breathe up here? Sometimes. 

Overwhelmed by the situations you face ahead of you. Unsure of where and what they will exactly lead to. Everything seems unclear and somehow...unsafe.
Don't clamber back down, you've come too far to look back now. Besides the challenges ahead appear, dare I say, appealing.

Remember to always be optimistic...the glass is most definetly always half full and never half empty.

You make me feel safe...

Lauren 

It's been about 3 years now and I treasure every second which we have shared together and I look forwards to the many many years and memories to come.

You are a wonderful human being. Truly one of the greats. You deserve the best.
You are beautiful, funny, outstandingly organised, so so caring, unique. Nothing can compare to you.
You have this talent of changing a persons mood from bad to good with just your presence, it's incredible. You are adored by literally everyone.
Thank you for making me feel safe. Thank you for your love and care. Thank you for all the lovely memories. Thank you for being you.
All I can say is...I love you. Plain and simple, I love you.

Sophie 

I can safely say people, including myself, cherish you and your existence.

You are incredible. You amaze me with how brave you are. You've been through so much yet still come out the otherside smiling. 

You are funny, stunning, admirable, quirky (in a good way) and most definetly a one of a kind. 
You are always there when anyone needs you. You have helped me through so much, more than you probably realise, and I thank you with all my heart.

Simply, you deserve the world.

I can truely say that I love you.

Emily...

I dont even know where to start with you, you are just perfect in every way. 

You always have a smile across your face, even when your not being completely honest with how you're truly feeling. You always look stunning, even though you refuse to accept that you are stunning...believe me you are beautiful not only in body, but also in mind. You always have the incredible ability to brighten a room, even when you yourself need cheering up. You always make people laugh, even when you're not in the mood for laughter. 

You are wonderful. A pleasure to have met.

Remembering back to yr 7 when we found out we were in a form together- maybe we wasnt the happiest but we were happy to have someone.

Then moving onto yr 10 when we took that big step...we were stapeled together!

Our friendship has evolved and I am confident that it will continue to, because noo way do I want to lose you.

Emily Louise Spittle, you silly fool, I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever...ect. forget you! Not on your nelly will I forget you. 

You are too precious to forget. 

You are my best friend.
I love you my little cherob, an don't you forget that <3

6 days...

Will it be hard to be seperated from my wonderful, glorious, bonkers and just generally perfect in every way friends?

Yes.
Although I so look forward to hearing about all the wonders and adventures which you will encounter in sixth form.
Am I concerned that you will forget, or replace me?

Yes.

Although I refuse to let you forget me, I will impose myself on your lives...this is not the last you will be hearing of me.
Does it bother me that you will have so many stories that you will share together whilst I will only have memories?

Yes.

Although I know you will all have such a wonderful time together. It was my choice to leave, I have only myself to blame. Besides the memories which we all share are unique, unforgettable.

Do I have insecurities about whether the ties and relationships that I have developed over the last 4 years will survive?

Yes.

Although I know what we all share is special. No distance or place will affect this.

6 days until we have to say goodbye?
No. 

Although my path may not be the same as those of the people I love, does most definetly not mean that we have to depart in 6 days. 

I love you lot, in every which way,

I know I won't forget you, please dont forget me.

Feeding my dog chips...

I like to feed my dog things which I know she's not neccessarily allowed. I don't give her things which will effect her health because I don't want to hurt her. However, seeing my dog happily chomping away on a singular mischevious chip gives me a strange sense of achievement and then when she's finished an looks up (or down- depending on where I'm sat!) at me with her big chocolate brown eyes and finishes the secret exchange displaying her gratitude with a distinct lick, I know she's enjoyed it. 

It might be because I'm a push over or because her beautiful eyes always seem to catch mine when I'm eating, but it's a guilty pleasure to give away my food to an animal who appears to enjoy it that much more than me.

Why? Why does an animal enjoy a humans food more than a human?
Is it the idea that it's like forbidden fruit? Or is it the fact that animals senses are so much more refined than our fickle human senses?
Sometimes it's nice to wonder what it would be like to be an animal...

You always spread a smile across my face

It's been 3 months and 16 days. 3 months and 16 days where you, without fail, have spread a smile across my face. I mean let's be honest, you're a bit of a silly bugger...but I'm happy to say that you're the silly bugger who I love.

It baffles me how you say the things you say and are contente with them. I mean you call me beautiful an seem to truly believe it. That's just crazy!  You constantly compliment me and appreciate me. You make me feel special...but not in the retarded way! You're like the fuel to my fire.

However, it saddens me when you don't believe yourself to be good enough because please believe me when I say you're perfect. Absolutely perfect. You may not be everyones cup of tea, but you sure are mine...a nice strong one with two sugars. You are charming, generous, wonderful, lovely and generally fantibitosi! You're the best.
As I sit here writing this blog, whilst simultaneously talking to you, I chuckle to myself knowing that you will never read this and don't even know I'm doing anything other than talking to you. 

You will never truly know how I feel. How you make me feel.

I love you and there is no denying that.

Thank you for being you.

"Though things change, they are not destroyed"

There is a slight sense of irony to this quote but thats a whole other, more complicated, story

All my life has been leading towards this...

a simple blog.